


I'll Keep Them Still

by Happy_Endings



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Character is a Ghost, Han-gee?, I can't believe I'm writing this, Making this up as I go along, Multi, That's so not fair, Why do people spell Hanji as Hange, fandom references, han-jēh, how do you even pronounce that?, if I write this as well as I hope I do, switching POV, there will be tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-01-20 09:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1506221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Endings/pseuds/Happy_Endings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Levi, and you are dead. <br/>You have been, for quite some time, now, with little to no hope of your former cadet Eren understanding the warnings you give him. Regardless of your inability to communicate through speech, you consider each other friends.<br/> But now you are fading. <br/>You don't know why, or where you will go, but it's not near Eren. You do know that if you leave now there is a high possibility that no one will get the chance to see you ever again. <br/>Including Eren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sucky description is sucky. I apologize. ^^'   
> Updating soon!  
> \- Fay -

His name is Eren.

You don't know much about him anymore, as it has been several years since you watched him last, but now you stand and watch over his shoulder as he shades in messy figures on his geometry homework. You know he is sixteen now. You know he has a sort-of-kind-of sister named Mikasa, and a best friend named Armin, he also has a sort-of-kind-of friend named Jean, who pronounces it with an emphasis on the 'J' because he is rather posh and you suppose posh people do things like that.

You think Jean and Eren could be friends if they stopped treating each other like assholes. The drawings on Eren's neglected assignment are growing less humanoid by the second, and it's starting to creep you out. You know what these things are, because you remember them, but Eren doesn't. Poor kid.

These things are called Titans, but Eren calls them the _Giants_. He doesn't talk about them, unless he's talking to you. You've tried on several occasions to speak with him, explain what they are and why he has night terrors about them, but he can never hear you beyond white noise. Once, you were able to get a word across to him, a single word, with little to no weight to you, but it seemed to mean enough to him, because it snapped him out of his last episode.

He sighs when the teacher asks if he's paying attention, and nods sleepily. She asks if he's getting enough sleep at home.

"Yes ma'am." He lies, because he knows she doesn't really care. _"You need more sleep."_ you tell him. He looks at you from the corner of his eye and then back at his paper. It is then you remember that you haven't seen him in several years and are probably scaring the literal shit out of him. You sit on the edge of his desk and swing your feet, listening to the lesson. Math seems like a foreign language to you, and you laugh at your own joke, because 'foreign' can be written as '4n'. Ah, math puns. You look at Eren, almost hoping he could have heard your joke. He looks confused.

You aren't surprised, but you do feel a bit disappointed. You look back at the teacher, half tempted to leave. This is boring, and Eren is boring. You ask yourself why you bother following him around. To protect him, but from what? The blades you carry are dull and cracked. They serve no purpose as weapons anymore, not that you could use them anyway. You recall stabbing his sister a few times, only to have the blade pass through her with no effect. She didn't mind, not that she knew, but Eren freaked out, towing her around the house to get out of your blade's reach. You look back at Eren, and he's drawing the wings on your back. You lean forward to see better, but he closes his notebook and stands as the bell rings.

Class is over, and gym comes. He leaves the building to hide out in the back as he always does, and you follow closely behind. Days like this, he sits under the tall redbud trees and draws. Sometimes he brings his water colors and paints them, sometimes he paints you. You like being painted, since you can't see your reflection but once in a blue moon, it's nice to be reminded that you actually exist. You focus as hard as you can and stand in front of him. You open your mouth and let out a low "Hello." Which he hears as static, as usual. "Hey, Stranger." He smiles softly, and you swear you could melt right there. He calls you _Stranger_ for some reason, which is quite rude, honestly. You've told him your name before, but that was years ago. "Don't you remember my name?" You ask him. He looks confused, and you slow down your words, articulating them carefully.

"Name. No, I- I don't remember." He looks a bit embarrassed to admit it. "I'm sorry." You sit in front of him, the wind blows and you both look up to watch the buds dance in the branches. "Don't move." He tells you, and you lower your head to look at him questioningly. How dare he order you around! There nerve of this kid never ceased to amaze you. "Please, Stranger." You wish he'd stop calling you that damn name, and push on his sketch pad, trying to lower it so you can see. You aren't strong enough to move much of anything, though you enjoy pushing pencils off of desks and nudging wheeled chairs around to scare people in your free time, you can't seem to focus enough to do anything significant around Eren. "What is it?" He asks, and you glare at him. You open your mouth and speak again, and he winces at the noise. "Fine, fine." He closes his book and goes to the back, he holds the cardboard backing out to you and you start pointing to letters.

L. E. V. I.

"Levi?" You nod once, and spell out the word 'name'. "Oh! Your name is Levi, then." He smiled and tilted his head a bit. "I like that name." Something about the way he says your name makes you incredibly happy, and also very sad. He used to say your name the same way, back then. "What's wrong, Levi?" He asks, sensing your sadness.

D. E. A. D.

"Are you dead?" You nod once, though that wasn't the point you were trying to get across.

N. O. Y. O. U.

Eren blinks. "Me? I'm not dead, Levi." He looks confused, and thoroughly freaked out. You shake your head again and wish you could just talk to him.

U. S. E. D. T. O. B. E.

He frowns at the book as if it had personally offended him. He flips it over again and continues to draw with a straight face, ignoring your attempts to continue conversation with him. _"Eren please."_ You frown. _"Don't leave me again, don't ignore me."_ It's nothing but static to him. Loud and annoying noise.

"Go away, Levi." You sit back, wounded by his words and feeling next to worthless now. Eren is all you have, the only living person who can see you, and no you might lose him. If you were alive, now would be the time to contemplate suicide. It seems rash, but think about it thoroughly. Let's say you are hanging by a string, literally. Tied to a tree branch and hanging on for dear life, praying the string doesn't snap and you go spinning into empty space. That's what life, or lack thereof, is like for you. And Eren is standing beneath you with scissors. It's a scary existence you lead, but you're not alone. Not completely. The wind blows again, and his hair moves with it. Yours stays in place. You reach out to touch him, and he shies away. You try again and just barely move the hair beneath your fingers. For a split second you feel something, but then the sensation is gone. You stare at each other for a moment until you smack at his notebook again and he flips it over with shaking hands. "I felt that!" He almost shouts, a smile obvious on his face. He's excited, as anyone would be.

M. E. T. O. O.

"You did?" You nod again.

S. O. F. T.

You haven't felt anything in so long, you had forgotten what his hair felt like. "Eren!" You jump at the sound and look back at the girl approaching you, something about the girl sets you on edge, and you pick up your blade from the grass, holding it in a defensive position in front of you. This girl is a threat. "Annie?" You look back at your incredibly stupid companion. Doesn't he know who this is?! "Hey, Coach is looking for you." "Tell him I'm sick." Eren orders, and the girl shrugs, jogging back towards the outdoor track. You can feel Eren's eyes on you, but you don't let down. You remember what that girl can turn into. Then again... You spin around quickly and fall to your knees, where Eren's notebook lies.

T. I. T. A. N.

"Titan. What's that?" You roll your eyes and groan.

G. I. A. N. T. S.

"The Giants, why are you calling them Titans?" You give him a look. "Because that's what they're actually called." You bark. "Remember!" He cringes at the noise and covers his ears. "Okay, okay- they're Titans. What does Annie have to do with them?" You facepalm and stand slowly, standing on your toes to get into his face. You mouth the words carefully without making a sound, as not to make him go deaf. 'One of them.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this whole chapter written out, and then my laptop crashed. //cries  
> Anyway- here's where the crossovers come in. It may get a little weird here, but i'll try to make it work.  
> \- Fay -

Eren isn't the best at anything in particular.   
He  _is_ however, a very good pianist.  
He couldn't play nursery rhymes if you asked, but long and complicated pieces? No problem.  
His favorite song to play is called  _Reluctant Heroes._  
  
He has no idea where it came from, how it got into his head, or how you know it. And you'd prefer to keep it that way.   
He sings to it while he plays when he thinks you aren't listening, which is just plain stupid. You can't be more than a hundred feet from the brat without feeling like you'll fall apart, so of course you hear everything.   
Part of you wished he had sung this more back when you were around to fully appreciate it, but just knowing the tune made you so incredibly happy, you felt selfish wishing for anything more.   
The song ends and you turn to face him, wondering why he had stopped mid verse.   
It's her. Of course.   
Her name used to be Petra, now it's Kristen or something like that, you had never really payed attention. She was somewhere in her twenties, and an aid for the school's band and choir teacher.   
"Why did you stop?" She asks.   
"Was I being too loud?" Eren questions, looking over the piano like a small child over a counter. His green eyes glimmer with something you only see on rare occasions. He always gets like this when he plays that song, and it inflates your heart like a balloon. His childlike expressions never ceased to amaze you.   
"No, no. I was coming to see who was playing such a beautiful piece." She smiled and nodded once for him to continue.   
He started up again hesitantly, lips pressed into a thin line instead of his usual singing.   
"What do you call this?"  
"Reluctant Heroes." Eren smiled weakly, and you walked towards him, leaning on the piano and watching her. Did she have some sort of memory relating to this song? Was every former member of his squad here?  
Maybe everyone was destined to stay together, the way you woke up when Eren was born again, just- opened your eyes on the floor next to his crib to the sound of his crying.  
"That's a nice name. Does it have words?" She swallowed and fidgeted with the papers in her hand, her other hand tightened around the strap of her bag.   
He nodded once and she sat down quickly in one of the chairs arranged for band practice. "Can you sing it for me?"  
Eren looked like he'd throw up.   
"Ms Kriste-"  
"Please." Her eyes were almost pleading, and she sounded close to desperate. "I heard you singing it earlier, it's just..."   
Eren calmed and nodded slowly. "Do you know it, too?"  
Her eyes widened.   
"I mean, I know it from somewhere. I can't remember, but it calms me down, and makes me feel happy, you know?"  
She smiled softly and nodded once.   
"I'll sing it for you." He agreed and straightened in his seat.   


"Day by day we have lost our edge. Don't you know? Forgotten is the life we lead. Now it seems you don't care what the risk is."  
 _So he does remember.  
_ "The peaceful times have made us blind. Can't look back, they will not come back. Can't be afraid, it's time after time, so once again i'm hiding in my room. The peaceful times have made us blind."  
A slow smile spreads across your face at the melody, it brings back memories you'd rather forget, but it also brings back  _them_ and you had been so close to forgetting about them, how cruel it would be to do that.   
You listened to him sing on key and without pause, resting your chin on your arms, folded across the top of the piano, and watching your absence of reflection on it's black, glossy surface through half lidded eyes.   
You could have fallen asleep if you weren't standing up, (or possessed the ability to sleep at all) but there was a abrupt pause and hindered breath that demanded your attention.   
"S-song for...reluctant heroes..." Eren was clearly struggling to focus, and his eyes had grown rather red and shiny. Was he crying?  
No, he couldn't be. In all the time you had been around him, he didn't cry unless seriously injured, one of his bigger differences between life then and now.   
"Please give me your strength, our lives are so short. Song for the reluctant heroes, I...." He stopped and lifted his eyes slowly to yours, recognition and sadness flashed across his face and illuminated his features.   
You didn't know how to respond. You should say something, but he wont understand you, so you settle on nodding.   
Nodding?  
Is that the best you can do? _You_ don't even know what your nod means in this situation.   
"I wanna be brave like you."  
Both of you look at 'Kristen' with wide eyes as she finishes the last verse.   
"It really hasn't hit you yet?"  
Eren sits frozen in place.  
"That's a pity." Her amber eyes are marked clearly with a sort of sadness that ricochets off of her, wounding everyone else in radius. She stands and fixes her things.   
"Wait, Petra-"  
She doesn't stop moving, almost rushing for the door and avoiding the students coming in.   
 _He knows her name._

 

~-~-~-~-~-~

 

"Okay, make it quick."  
Eren stands closer to the toilet, the door closed behind you as you quickly tap letters on the cardboard notebook.   
P E T R A    R A L   
"That's her name?" He whispers. You nod once.   
M Y   S Q U A D   
Eren furrows his brows, clearly confused.  
S H E   D I E D   D E F E N D I N G   Y O U  
Clearly this wasn't the right thing to say, because the poor, unmindful child started trembling in his shoes like he had seen a ghost.   
Well...  
You decide not to dwell on the irony of your wordplay and tap on the notepad to get his attention.   
S H E    D O E S N T    R E G R E T    I T  
He smiled weakly, as if that was really supposed to make him feel better.   
F E M A L E     T I T A N   
His eyes quickly doubled in size, and he glared at the notebook, your finger still lingering on 'n'.   
"What? Annie?"  
You nod once.   
"Annie killed Petra?"  
A N D   O T H E R S  
"Why?"  
You shrugged.   
S H E     H A D     H E R     R E A S O N S  
"Murder is still murder, Levi."  
The look in his eyes was disgust, anger and sadness. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him that titans are people too, literally, and that he had vowed to kill every last one.   
T H I S    T I M E   I S   D I F F E R E N T  
"What do you mean?"  
"Are you talkin' to yourself in there, Jaeger?" The voice surprised both of you, and he jumped, kicking through you and hitting the door. "Fuck off, Jean!"  
You gave him a look, a visual smack in the face.   
Was  _everyone_ here? This was getting a little ridiculous.   
He stared back at you, unsure if kicking though you was the issue, or if it was something else.   
Truth be told, you were used to it. He made it a game as a kid to throw paper airplanes through your head and drive through your legs with his matchbox cars. Sometimes he'd stand right over you, his head where your stomach would have been, and just look up through your innards and giggle like it was some sort of sick game. No matter how much your pushed at him to cut it out, he'd keep doing it.   
Not that he remembers any of that now.   
Not that it makes it any less creepy.   
You turn your back to Eren and pass through the stall door. You force your energy into making yourself visible, hovering a few inches from the ground and staring down at Jean.   
You're well aware that in this emotional state, blood still stains your face, and some of the bone on your jaw is visible through flesh long gone, and tilt your head a bit so he can see it clearly.   
You shout for him to leave Eren alone, and his eyes double in size as he stumbles backwards, covering his ears at the white noise. He scrambled to his feet and sprinted from the bathroom.   
You let your feet touch the ground again and calmed yourself before Eren could get out of the stall. The blood seemed to absorb into your skin and all wounds were gone.   
You didn't look back at him when he came stumbling out, holding the sides of his head and cursing under his breath.   
"Shit, Levi!" He groaned and glared at you. "What the hell was that?"  
You tilted your head at him.   
"I was just talk-"  
He winced and you closed your mouth.   
"That was loud, Levi. The whole place shook, you didn't notice?"  
You glared up at him. Of course not. You don't interact with your environment, you don't  _feel anything._  
Eren seemed to get it, and dropped his hands, staring down at you with a frown you didn't see often.   
"Right. Sorry."  
You nod once and leave the bathroom, this place is filthy.


End file.
